Abuse or Exploration?

Last night was movie night with the hubby and as always, I had fun with my beast. The movie of choice? Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes. I am one of those who enjoyed the books.


WARNING: There are a few little spoilers about the movie so if you don’t want to know about it, stop reading now. Also, I will say that I may lose some followers over my opinion about the books and movie. Though I hate to lose fans, I feel strongly about what I’m about to say, and I’m not gonna sugar coat it.

I’ve heard a lot of negativity about the books and how they were poorly written, but I have to be honest. Some of the stories that have touched me most have been ones that were obviously unedited or just plain juvenile wording. But, I am a big girl and my imagination makes up for typos and grammar mistakes. Also, let me remind all the people who say that Ana’s inner dialog was juvenile and unrealistic…Ana’s character is a virgin. She was sheltered and inexperienced and just because you don’t think like that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t or that others wouldn’t. Her inner dialog is her personality. Besides, she is a fictional character. Get over it. It’s for entertainment purposes and everyone has their preferences. If you don’t like it, don’t read it or watch it. Don’t feel like you have to protest and ridicule just because you don’t like it and others do. Newsflash: There is enough negativity in the world. Why try to ruin something that other people enjoy?

So, the movie:
I wasn’t sure the hubby would like it. He only agreed to go because I wanted to watch it with him. In the end he really enjoyed himself. We left talking about how hot some of the stuff was, and it solidified my want of a red room of my own. I think mine would be purple though.

Just like me, the hubby spent the whole movie waiting for the “abuse” that everyone has been talking about. Sure, strong-willed people (like Anastasia Steele or myself) might not tolerate some of the controlling things that Mr. Grey insisted on. Just saying, the food only he approved would not go over well with me. Lol. But for all of those who say what he did to her is abuse…you need to redefine the word. I don’t know about where you come from, but when someone consents to have something done to them…


Just like in the book, there are things that Ana is uncomfortable with…her HARD limits, which she clearly tells Christian are a no-go. But the whipping-as-punishment scene that is so controversial (even with some people in the BDSM lifestyle) is not abuse. Ana clearly asked him to “Give me your worst.” Christian repeatedly told her throughout the movie that she had complete control and she could stop it at any time. He even reminded her of the ‘yellow’ and ‘red’ safe words at one point. But SHE DIDN’T tell him to stop. She endured. She started out liking it, but by the time he was done, yes, she was a little traumatized. Which is a rational reaction from someone like Ana. But let me reiterated…she asked him to whip her. The fact that she realize she didn’t like it is part of the exploration. You have to learn what you like and don’t like when getting into the lifestyle. And whipping is something that she learned was not right for her.

Also…Christian Grey is, by his own admission, “fifty shades of fucked up” but he is the way he is. He is a Dom. Doms are dominant. (Insert “duh” here) Doms are all about control. The context is individual to each person. The fact that Christian is so overbearing and controlling is part of his personality, but if you have kept an open mind and actually read the books, you know that changes. The whole point of the story is his journey to healing and change. No matter what some people are saying, it IS a love story.

I honestly believe that half the flack these books (and movie) get is from closed-minded people with no imagination or tolerance for other people’s desires…or people who are jealous of the success E L James has achieved. I also believe that half of her success is directly because of the controversial/taboo subject or ‘vanilla’ people with a ‘freak show’ curiosity.

My overall opinion of the movie:
I thought it was very tastefully done. It was very stirring, and I will definitely be buying it when it comes out on DVD.

I had a few more things to say, but as you know, I tend to ramble and that sometimes takes me out in left field before I say everything I want to say.

Anyway, I’m done for now. Until next time…
Much love,



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